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A Firelight Mourning
A firelight mourning A ghastly echo awaits In the Crumble's wake frigid skeletons march Their hardcore beats disassemble all focus in jarring ragged thunder Metaphor's disappearance no longer lamented beyond reconciliation abstraction all gone we in present tense witness the obvious. Man's inhumanity reckless poignant pitiless naked shit smeared and vomiting no movie it didn't happen bounce the rubble a lifetime of screaming fragmented fate I told you so. I told you so. I told you so. I told you so. All I had to do was die When dying served no justice When fear of dying had no might I might have died inside in spite And never tried to set things right Instead I reasoned forward Bearing bread and fruit To feed a fatted calf a half of mind My minded matters all in tatters Now I have to laugh Pregnant with my powerpoint. Posting petulant poetry. Pissing peasants pitied me and ate my dismal dinner, free I called my shite discovery 100 years ago and two atomics blasted then we knew we maudlin keepers of the zoo but partied until '42 Five years ago when fortune flew We hid behind colors We hid behind pronouns flags algorithms decentralized currencies electronic eyes dogs cows weather forecasts self-righteous victimhood theories conspiracies speculations rockets to mars electric cars We hid. That's all we did. I shouldn't be acting this way on my birthday. I shouldn't be causing my readers this pain. I shouldn't be writing this way on my birthday. I shouldn't be doing this shit with my brain. It's a dream of 2047. I see myself under the bridge in shadow. Having wasted my life fighting death for shared meaning. Recalling the texts and emails from institutions Back in the year of the Barbie Movie When at least we tried To lose ourselves To find ourselves Back when we had the luxury of wall to wall bullshit. I take a bite of barbecued kitten off the wire hanger spit and take a final swig of red bull the fire dances dully in my cataracts the thud of mortars intermit again tired of surviving this war my hands tremble for the final time I bring them to my lips I bite the pill from the man in uniform I descended into Hell I ascended into Heaven I sat at the right hand of the Father.