"Proportionality" is not stoic. Defending a right to be more brutal than our enemy is a downward spiral which attains a living hell. This particular quarrel is a family feud which goes back to two chapters: Genesis 16 & 17 > https://www.blueletterbible.org/kjv/gen/16/1/s_16001. Until we come to terms with this we will continue to dehumanize each other. We in the west have a processing problem, brilliantly unpacked by Joseph Henrich in THE WEIRDest PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.